So the big day is hear and you've written, prepared and practiced your speech so you know everything you have to say. With the emotion of the actual wedding overshadowing everything else - as it so rightly should - you may find by the time it gets to your speech you don't suffer nerves as you're just enjoying the celebration.
However, if you do think you'll suffer from nerves then you'll probably find that sitting quietly and practicing some slow, relaxed breathes will help calm you down mentally and slow down your heart rate.
Also, it can help to visualize yourself giving your speech perfectly, imagining the feeling of having successfully delivered your speech and glowing in the pride of completing it perfectly.
Make sure you know when you're expected to speak, so that you're not taken by surprise. And when it is your turn you will usually be introduced by the best man on MC - find out who exactly. After you've been introduced stand and wait untill the applause has finished before you start.
Once speaking, try and enjoy yourself, it'll show in your speech. Don't worry if it doesn't go perfectly as everyone there will be behind you and cut you some slack - they're not expecting a professional speaker.
Ands when you've finished propose the toast and when the guests sit down, so can you.
Good luck, and if you want any more information see the links on the right hand side of this blog.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Practicing your wedding speech
Now you've licked your speech into good shape it's now time to practice, practice, practice. The more you practice the better you'll get and if you can mentally put yourself into the location of the wedding reception, all the better.
The point of practicing at this stage is twofold: first of all you want to rehearse speaking in public and getting used to projecting your voice; looking around the room to include everyone in your speech; controlling how you speak; and deep breathing to help fight nerves: second you want to internalize the speech as much as possible, without learning it parrot fashion. That means you get used to speaking about the points you've written down and the order in which they go BUT speaking to the guests rather than reading your speech - a subtle difference perhaps, but important.
You should be able to get yourself so that when you rise you actually feel a touch of nerves; don't worry about this, that will be a GOOD thing on the day. Imagine you're speaking to the guests and look around the room while you're speaking. Eventually you'll require the text of your speech less and less. At this point you should write down the main points onto a card and continue rehearsing using this alone.
Once you're comfortable with it you're ready for the big day. Don't worry, you're almost there!
The point of practicing at this stage is twofold: first of all you want to rehearse speaking in public and getting used to projecting your voice; looking around the room to include everyone in your speech; controlling how you speak; and deep breathing to help fight nerves: second you want to internalize the speech as much as possible, without learning it parrot fashion. That means you get used to speaking about the points you've written down and the order in which they go BUT speaking to the guests rather than reading your speech - a subtle difference perhaps, but important.
You should be able to get yourself so that when you rise you actually feel a touch of nerves; don't worry about this, that will be a GOOD thing on the day. Imagine you're speaking to the guests and look around the room while you're speaking. Eventually you'll require the text of your speech less and less. At this point you should write down the main points onto a card and continue rehearsing using this alone.
Once you're comfortable with it you're ready for the big day. Don't worry, you're almost there!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Polishing the first draft of your wedding speech
Now that you have your first draft of your Father of the Bride speech, it's time to kick it into good shape. The way we're going to do this is simply to read it aloud and make sure that it is comfortable to say. While that may not sound like much sense, there is a big difference between the written word and speaking; what reads well, doesn't necessarily trip off the tongue well and so we need to transition from what we have down on paper to the spoken word now.
Since you're not actually rehearsing the speech you needn't bother standing unless you want to get some early practice in. Just read it aloud, making changes where you stumble or it sounds artificial. One easy thing to change is where we abbreviate things naturally in speech - do not becomes don't cannot becomes can't etc.
Run through your text a few times until you have something that you can read easily in words that feel like they belong to you. Once you've reached this stage your speech is complete. All you have to do now is practice delivery and you're ready for the wedding day.
I'll be back with more advice on the next stage in aday or so.
Since you're not actually rehearsing the speech you needn't bother standing unless you want to get some early practice in. Just read it aloud, making changes where you stumble or it sounds artificial. One easy thing to change is where we abbreviate things naturally in speech - do not becomes don't cannot becomes can't etc.
Run through your text a few times until you have something that you can read easily in words that feel like they belong to you. Once you've reached this stage your speech is complete. All you have to do now is practice delivery and you're ready for the wedding day.
I'll be back with more advice on the next stage in aday or so.
Monday, June 2, 2008
First draft of your father of the bride speech
After following the two previous posts you'll have brainstormed the ideas for the body of your speech as well as written down the top and tail - your welcome and the toast to the bride and groom.
Today you need to take out your notes and expand on the ideas you jotted down for the body of the speech. Remember that you'll be speaking, so try and write it as you speak and your speech doesn't need to go on too long as you'll lose the attention of the guests - around 2 minutes is idea, and if if is a long as 5 then you should do some trimming. Just flesh out the ideas into some kind of narrative - it doesn't need to be profound, only heartfelt. 10 or 15 minutes should be all that it takes, and once you've completed this exercise - congratulations, that is the first draft of your speech complete.
Don't worry if it's too rough and ready, we'll polish it afterwards.
Today you need to take out your notes and expand on the ideas you jotted down for the body of the speech. Remember that you'll be speaking, so try and write it as you speak and your speech doesn't need to go on too long as you'll lose the attention of the guests - around 2 minutes is idea, and if if is a long as 5 then you should do some trimming. Just flesh out the ideas into some kind of narrative - it doesn't need to be profound, only heartfelt. 10 or 15 minutes should be all that it takes, and once you've completed this exercise - congratulations, that is the first draft of your speech complete.
Don't worry if it's too rough and ready, we'll polish it afterwards.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Expanding your draft speech
Yesterday I posted about how to brainstorm the ideas that will make up the bulk of your Father of the Bride speech, focusing on your daughter, her husband to be and your thoughts on marriage. Today I want you to expand on those ideas to create a complete outline for your speech - it won't be the final version, but all the elements will be in place. Let's take a look at the entire structure:
Overview
1. Introduction - Welcome the guests and thank them for sharing such an important day, remembering to mention anyone who made a particular effort by name. Also, although it is traditional for the bride's father to pay for the wedding, that isn't always the case these days and so ensure you thank anyone else who has contributed.
2. Your daughter - tell her and everyone else how proud you are of her based on your notes from yesterday.
3. You son-in-law - welcome him into your family; again, you should have notes from yesterday.
4. Start if talking about marriage and how it benefited you, but you can use this to speak about anything else appropriate too. You may like to add some humor, but steer clear of anything controversial or potentially offensive.
5. Wish the bride and groom a successful and happy marriage and propose a toast to the bride and groom.
Okay, so that was a brief overview and you should basically have enough material for points 2,3 and 4, so we need to take a closer look at your welcome and toast. Here we go...
Welcome
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank you all for coming here today to celebrate the marriage of [daughter] to [son-in-law], with a special mention to [name1] and [name2] for traveling from far and wide and who I haven't seen for years.
While one of the great privileges of being being [bride's] father is that I get to pay for the wedding, I'd also like to thank [whoever else contributed] for sharing the cost and helping to make today that extra bit special."
Toast
"Anyway, I'd like to wish [bride] and [groom] every success and the exceedingly happy marriage they deserve. Please charge your glasses for... the bride and groom."
That's it - short and to the point. You never want you speech to drag on for longer that is welcome, so keep each element to the point, but make sure you make whatever it is you're going to say your own - you should personalize the speech and say it how YOU speak, not how I write, and flesh it out more if appropriate. Also, if you would prefer to add some humor, then by all means add it, as long as you'll be comfortable with it on the day.
Now you have enough content for your first draft of your wedding speech. In my next post I'll discuss taking the content and putting it all together to shape it for a more polished version.
Overview
1. Introduction - Welcome the guests and thank them for sharing such an important day, remembering to mention anyone who made a particular effort by name. Also, although it is traditional for the bride's father to pay for the wedding, that isn't always the case these days and so ensure you thank anyone else who has contributed.
2. Your daughter - tell her and everyone else how proud you are of her based on your notes from yesterday.
3. You son-in-law - welcome him into your family; again, you should have notes from yesterday.
4. Start if talking about marriage and how it benefited you, but you can use this to speak about anything else appropriate too. You may like to add some humor, but steer clear of anything controversial or potentially offensive.
5. Wish the bride and groom a successful and happy marriage and propose a toast to the bride and groom.
Okay, so that was a brief overview and you should basically have enough material for points 2,3 and 4, so we need to take a closer look at your welcome and toast. Here we go...
Welcome
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank you all for coming here today to celebrate the marriage of [daughter] to [son-in-law], with a special mention to [name1] and [name2] for traveling from far and wide and who I haven't seen for years.
While one of the great privileges of being being [bride's] father is that I get to pay for the wedding, I'd also like to thank [whoever else contributed] for sharing the cost and helping to make today that extra bit special."
Toast
"Anyway, I'd like to wish [bride] and [groom] every success and the exceedingly happy marriage they deserve. Please charge your glasses for... the bride and groom."
That's it - short and to the point. You never want you speech to drag on for longer that is welcome, so keep each element to the point, but make sure you make whatever it is you're going to say your own - you should personalize the speech and say it how YOU speak, not how I write, and flesh it out more if appropriate. Also, if you would prefer to add some humor, then by all means add it, as long as you'll be comfortable with it on the day.
Now you have enough content for your first draft of your wedding speech. In my next post I'll discuss taking the content and putting it all together to shape it for a more polished version.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
How to prepare for the Father of the Bride Speech
When most people think of wedding speeches their thoughts turn to the best man, a long tradition of gently mocking, but affectionate, humor at the bride groom's expense. However, the best man - and the groom for that matter - aren't the only ones speaking on the big day and as Father of the Bride, your speech will be eagerly awaited too.
Whenever it comes to public speaking there are several things to consider, which I'll discuss on this blog over time. But here is an overview of how to approach the task, which although you may be dreading can actually be quite enjoyable on the day.
And for this introductory post I'll just talk about brainstorming for ideas. Forget about the protocol, the introduction and how to finish your speech at the moment - that's basically textbook stuff which can be copied and changed to suit you afterwards. At the moment you need to work out what you are going to talk about and get some notes down on paper.
And the good news is that by spending a little time preparing and writing your speech followed by a little more practicing what you're going to say, your speech will flow perfectly. Nerves really are for the unprepared, and the preparation won't take too much of your time. So, lets get started.
There are two essentials in any Father of the Bride speech:
When it comes to the groom, hopefully you like him and approve of the marriage. Even if you don't, he will certainly have some positive points - you may not have experienced them directly, but I'm sure your daughter has mentioned them to you, but in most cases you'll know him already and hopefully have a good relationship.
In addition to this you might also want to talk about marriage and particularly what you have gained from it or enjoyed. Even if you are now separated or divorced, there will be some positives you have taken from the experience!
Just write down anything that comes into your head while you think about these topics and get it down on paper. You can flesh it out and edit it all at a later stage, but it is better to have too many ideas than struggle to write your speech. That's all for now, I'll write about the next stage in a day or so.
Whenever it comes to public speaking there are several things to consider, which I'll discuss on this blog over time. But here is an overview of how to approach the task, which although you may be dreading can actually be quite enjoyable on the day.
And for this introductory post I'll just talk about brainstorming for ideas. Forget about the protocol, the introduction and how to finish your speech at the moment - that's basically textbook stuff which can be copied and changed to suit you afterwards. At the moment you need to work out what you are going to talk about and get some notes down on paper.
And the good news is that by spending a little time preparing and writing your speech followed by a little more practicing what you're going to say, your speech will flow perfectly. Nerves really are for the unprepared, and the preparation won't take too much of your time. So, lets get started.
There are two essentials in any Father of the Bride speech:
- Talk about your daughter and how proud you are of her and why
- Welcome your son in law to your family and mention his good points
When it comes to the groom, hopefully you like him and approve of the marriage. Even if you don't, he will certainly have some positive points - you may not have experienced them directly, but I'm sure your daughter has mentioned them to you, but in most cases you'll know him already and hopefully have a good relationship.
In addition to this you might also want to talk about marriage and particularly what you have gained from it or enjoyed. Even if you are now separated or divorced, there will be some positives you have taken from the experience!
Just write down anything that comes into your head while you think about these topics and get it down on paper. You can flesh it out and edit it all at a later stage, but it is better to have too many ideas than struggle to write your speech. That's all for now, I'll write about the next stage in a day or so.
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